'I don’t want a shoulder to lean on. I don’t need it. The whole idea of “Someone, that special someone!” is for me, a load of shit. I must be fully contained. No leakage, no spillover. Dependency is weakness. It’s such a lie. Lying there in bed, in your lover’s arms. 'She’s behind me, she believes in me!' No one is behind me. I am behind me. I believe in me. I don’t need any support group to keep my head together. I know what I have to do, so I should shut up and do it.'

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she doesn’t look

she doesn’t see

opens up for nobody.

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"You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me."
 F. Scott FitzgeraldThe Great Gatsby 
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you’ve become so
damaged, that when
someone wants to
give you, what you
deserve
you have no idea,
how to respond. 

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one of the worst moments in life is probably when you’re in a room full of people and you look around and see them all talking and laughing and all of sudden you feel so sad and lonely that you can even feel a physical pain in your chest because you realize that they all belong to someone and they all have someone who belongs to them and you don’t, you’re just kind of there

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"I can’t exactly describe how I feel but it’s not quite right. And it leaves me cold."
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon  
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1943
 
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